September 21, 2011 (updates on the custody battle)

I began my day yesterday with a nine am phone call from my attorneys office telling me that Jon had finally been served his divorce papers.  A wave of relief brought chills up and back down my spine several times. I was exhilerated, but not surprised.

I knew that something was up because I received a strange phone call the night before, Tuesday. A man called my phone and said that he found my number on the internet and wanted to “hang out”.   This was a huge red flag for me, because while I used to be an escort, I am not anymore. My clients, or callers do not approach me in that way, but we will talk more about that later.

His voice sounded old, 60+, and I thought that there was a possibility that he may just not be savvy at this type of thing, so I proceed to ask him where he saw my ad. He says he doesn’t know. I had to press, and basically insist that he answer the question. He said”Oh, I don’t know, on the internet somewhere, and then says the name of my former website. The one that Jon knew about in the past. A site that has not been live, or advertised in over a year. This told me without a doubt that this caller was from the “Jon Camp”.

I was not absolutely certain though, so I explain that I have had that site down for over a year, and teach tantra now.  I ask if he has experience in Tantra. “No, What’s that?” was his reply.  I told him that if he didn’t know what it was, he was not likely seeking instruction in it.  He asked me why he would need experience if I was an instructor and I explained that if he were experienced he would already know the fundamental things that I would teach him, so he would not be a good candidate.

“Do you do massage?”  I told him no and he said that he thought that Tantra was massage.I explain that it is more meditation that I teach. He kept pressing me for details, and I explained to him that I knew that if he was responding to that old advertisement, (which is not on the net anymore, and if it was, it would not have my new phone number) that he was looking for an escort, which I am no longer available as, and that I had no interest in attempting to solicit him by phone to become a candidate for tantra and hung up on him.

Jon knows that early on in this case when he told his family that he “found out” I was a whore, as opposed to the true version of he pimped me out that the investigators had an easy time calling me and scheduling an appointment. He was hoping that he could set me up just as easily. Problem is, my husband has not been a friend to me in two years, and alot has changed. I am not a whore now.

I am a sex educator. I am proud of what I do, and I think that it matters. Sex matters. How can we hope to provide the tools to end the demand for sex trafficking without simoultaneously providing the tools for positive sexuality?

In other countries for instance,  Lovemaking is taught to men and women. Lessons passed down over hundreds of years in lovemaking manuels such as the Kama Sutra, and ancient Sanskrit writings that teach Tantra, Taoism. What American Equivalent do we have?

The Swedish Model, widely accepted presently as the preferrable approach to dealing with the criminality of American prostitution teaches us to work toward ending the demand for prostitution. This school of thought considers prostitution an act of Violence against women, and criminalizes the clients of prostitutes, viewing prostitutes themselves as victims.

My personal view is not at all equal to the swedish model. I believe that by creating a sex positive culture, we will naturally reduce the harm factor in prostitution through proactive education relating to intimacy skills and sex positive ideology that incorporates the theory that adult consent is the only requirement for an acceptable sexual encounter.  Whatever the motive.

My current tantric practice is a program of education, self expression, and enlightenment targeted directly toward men seeking prostitutes. It is my goal to teach these men, and encourage their natural desire to learn intimacy skills and provide a positive environment for sexual healing, and to promote positive sexuality.

This is accomplished through tantric education and working closely with the individual to identify issues relating to intimacy and sexuality and talk about where they come from, what effect they have on the individual and find ways to develop positive interpersonal relationship skills within the client.

The skill set that is aquired is very useful in developing or healing meaningful relationships.

Currently, my clientele is mainly male as they are the main viewers of the sites that I currently advertise on. I do work with females, couples, and groups as well.

Every day I witness and am a part of people reaching toward their true desire which may not be prostitution at all. I support men in rejecting the notion that they are sexual beings incapable of meaningful intimacy, and teach them to overcome these stereotypes.

I instruct them in meditation and relaxation techniques that take them out of a completely physical standpoint, and taps into their deeper sexual energy and desire for intimacy and a true humanized connection.

To say that sex trafficking and sex education are unrelated is to ignore the deep scars across the sexual selves of masses of people and avoid the dismantling of the symbiotic relationship between a sex negative culture and a culture that supports sex trafficking.

Do not conflate sex trafficking with prostitution as they are not one and the same. There are many free thinking women that choose to be prostitutes for whatever reason, and there are also an unknown number of women and some children that are coerced into prostitution against there will. This is sex trafficking. When an individual is coerced and not permitted to keep the avails of their work. Human slavery. Not prostitution.

At any rate, I expect that as I proceed through what will undoubtedly be a bloody divorce proceeding, I am sure that this will not be the last time that the “Jon Camp” trys to entrap me. Stupid fool still thinks I am a whore.

At any rate, the day progressed and I got in touch with Jillian’s school. Spoke to the guidance counselor and wanted to know if there was anything keeping me from going to participate at Jillian’s school with her.  She said that she would research it.

About thirty minutes later I received the following text message via text from his live in married to another guy girlfriend-

“Don’t you ever try to see Jill at school again. As we explained to the school, you are not allowed there because it is not an approved visit. Judges orders do not expire, and you still do not have any custody what so ever. Therefore, you cannot pick and choose when you can be around the kids. Do not ever try this again. You will only embarrass yourself. Until this is settled in court, you will now have only what the judge ordered, because that order still stands. Yes, I may be Jon’s paramour, but I was never a whore. Can’t wait til that comes out. Especially the things that you have no idea that we know. I have done so much research on you and you are a disgrace.”

Wow.  I actually became really upset about it until the guidance counselor called me back.

I didn’t even know about that, but when I called Jon later to ask to see my kids, not only was his response “I don’t know” over and over like it always is, he also began shouting at me asking me why I had my lawyer call the school. He said ” So the case is closed so you just automatically get your rights back? Is that how it is supposed to work?”

The conversation escalated and I began to feel those same feelings that only Jon can induce in me. The anxiety, the fear, the rage. It was like fighting with him when we were married. I began to recognize that I was having flashbacks to domestic violence, and ended the phone call. It took me a while to calm down from that. He told me to stay away from her school, and that I wouldn’t be allowed there.

I didn’t know what to think. I talked to friends that reassured me but the self doubt is so deep from so many years of being told that I couldn’t have any say in my own children. To hear me talk to Jon about anything that I am concerned about is like hearing someone talking to a perfect stranger, not their mother. Totally dismissing anything I say and just saying “Are you done?”

Well, later that evening as I was actively tweeting and supporting the protesters of Troy Davis’ execution my phone rang, and it was Jill. She said in the happiest most excited voice ever “Mommy Mommy! Guess what? Apparently, he got the papers!” I told her yes he did and that we could start counting the days now until court. She was so happy. I asked her how she knew she said “because him and Kayla got in a huge fight about it today! ” I asked her what they were saying but she had to quickly change the subject as she is closely monitored now when she speaks to me.

I was invigorated!  It is so hard to not give up when three long years have told you that any efforts that you make are worthless.

We spent almost an hour on the phone which is very unusual. I felt like Jon was finally feeling as if he would get in trouble if he didn’t start loosening his grip on my kids.

I took the opportunity to talk about the Troy Davis case, and shared some of the news coverage with her. We talked about the appeals process, the death penalty, The Supreme Court. I was impressed that she knew alot of it. She had written a report on Justice Thomas.  We spoke about activism, and the way that the American citizens can make their voices heard. It was a great talk and I feel like I shared an important moment with her.

It is now Thursday, 9/22.  I called the guidance counselor today and when she called me back she had quite a story. Apparently, she called Jon to ask about the court order as it did not appear to bar me from coming to the school. Jon reportedly screamed at her so loudly on the phone for several minutes that she had to hold the phone away from her ear. The clerk and everyone standing in the front office could hear him. He was saying that she must not be able to read that it was written right in front of her

After he ranted for a while, she said I read quite well sir. And I listen quite well. Now, if you would listen to me for just a moment, I will tell you that I am not a lawyer, but will forward this to the School Board attorney that will advise. He continued to shout saying “No! You will call the judge, and my lawyer!”  She refused and said it was going to the school board attorney and whatever he says is the golden rule.

I couldn’t believe it!  Finally, people that see him for who and what he really is which is an angry abusive man that no one can control.  I thanked her and we spoke for several minutes as I gave her a brief yet honest synopsis of what had happened, and why I was not permitted in the childrens lives.

She welcomed me to come to the school, and I am like a little kid on Christmas eve! I cannot wait to surprise Jillian at school. Unfortunately, It is a long weekend. I have to wait until Monday.

Either way, I called my attorney and we both agree that he is making it harder and harder on himself.

 

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